The 10 things that make El Paso not so bad!

Ah yes, El Paso Texas. Doesn't have a very good reputation now does it?

I love having excuses to post giant maps of Texas all over the internet!

The map is mainly for Rachel who thought I was in Austin which was right next to El Paso. Close dear. So close.

The airport told me they have the lowest crime in America! ALL OF AMERICA! And with the Mexican drug wars right across the border in Juarez you can take that with a grain of salt.
BUT I WAS DETERMINED TO ENJOY MY TRIP!
And I did :-) 
 So here are 10 pictures to help explain why El Paso really wasn't awful. 

Guadalupe National Park

The only way to protect yourself while camping in a creeper area

How the Handy women hike...during the hottest part of the day. Ariel forgave me

Pioneer children sang as they walked and walked and walked and....WALKED

Junior Park Rangers  WOO!!

Beat up Auntie Jenny while finding Polar Bears in the caverns

My new answer for the "What's your favorite tree" Game

This really happened

My dad survived another adventure with me! I made him pick up the speed. Bwah ha ha

I bought this book. And then I read most of it on the plane ride home. And. I. Enjoyed. It.

   So what changed my mind? Well I guess if your family calls a certain place home then it becomes more endearing. And it is Texas after all. It's amazing what you can see when you change your attitude.

And that geology book? Seriously? SO INTERESTING!

If I Could Write a Letter to Me

Dear younger me, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are going to decide to be a scientist.

  
It's okay. Let me explain.


Do you remember when you decided to really study science? It was during your food production and management classes in high school. You were going to be a pastry chef. I have proof.

Being artistic with food is fun eh? The things you could do with a little massive amount of butter and sugar were ASTOUNDING. Marzipan and food coloring? Yeah, I know! Don't even get me started on garnishes. But you have to choose between that and your love of chemistry. There just isn't enough time to take science and food classes your senior year. I understand. But know this: Curiosity will prevail.

 This is the year you will be introduced to organic chemistry and will love it. As the only IB chemistry student you will be given free reign in the class lab and attempt to make esters with very little supervision.

*This is also the time in your life where you become acutely aware of what those tiny hairs in your nose are for. Ya know, because you burn them out with 12M ammonia. Volatility really catches you off guard. You won't be able to smell or taste for two whole days woman! Fume hoods. Use them. You'll be surprised how many times the answer to your problems will be use a dang fume hood.

HEED THE SIGNS

Your science senses are just beginning to blossom! Did you know there is such a thing as Immunology? I jump ahead of myself- no need to excite you that much. Just know that studying the molecular mechanisms of diseases is even more fun than turning an apple into a swan with a paring knife.

You don't get a lot of crap in high school when you make this decision. Most people think you are crazy but they respect your love of the sciences. There will come a time when well meaning individuals will try and convince you that science isn't worth your time; especially because you are a girl. Some fake scientists will even try and extrapolate crappy data to say that the female brain just isn't wired to understand the sciences like the male brain. Not all scientists are socially sound my dear. By the time you hit your first job outside of college there will be roughly equal if not more women in your field.

But what I really want to tell you is to be more flexible and patient with yourself. Being a scientist is more about a way of thinking and being than a profession. Your raw talents are not best suited for being sequestered away at a wet bench with only your mice and cell cultures to keep you company. Please, don't fight this realization as much as I did. Your true joy comes from sharing the things that make you happy with the world. This includes science and, in turn, the gospel.  You will be so much happier as a teacher of science than you will be as a professional researcher. Honestly you will get the most opposition in your career decisions here at this point. It will come from your professors, your friends, your family (bless their hearts), and yourself. Learn to trust yourself Jennifer.

Hey, you'll survive. You're still here writing this letter to yourself seven years later. Your life is still unfolding and wonderful things happen. You should see your husband! HAHA just kidding. We haven't met him yet. That little tid-bit should ease some stressful times in college.

Now go share this with us from those middle school years. She really needs to hear this;especially because we don't get to read the Book of Mormon until 2003. And it does get better. It always gets better. Just never give up. You'll always be a scientist. You're just going to use your mad skills to teach these things to struggling students. Like that little girl from our middle school years. Because as you mature you will realize your talents were always with people. You believe in them and love them. And what better gift to give to people than the ability to discover things for themselves? 

 Look in the mirror and accept what you see. God does. I love you.

Your Most Magnificent Older Self

PS As an adult you will learn that the world's major problems are caused by a basic misunderstanding of statistics (and a lack of trust in God but the statistics problem was so unexpected!). Primarily replicates, significance, causation, and correlation. So, do me a huge favor and pay a little more attention in that independent study STATS class you will eventually take in college. Stats...is possibly more important than learning how to add. 

PPS There will be an instance in college where you overhear a young man science student tell a young woman science student that it doesn't matter what grade she gets in O-chem because she will have no use for it when she is a mom. She will be vulnerable because O-chem is hard and she is tired; she will start to believe him. Casually walk up to them and say to the young man that you must adamantly disagree. Then punch him right in his arrogant sexist face. This will be more effective if you work out more, but you would be surprised at what rage is capable of. Tell the girl to be a real woman and work as hard as she can for her education because EVERYTHING YOU LEARN WILL BENEFIT YOU AS A MOTHER! Obviously, this will bother you for a long time...and your eye still twitches when you are angry. Yeah, that doesn't go away.

Little purple pansy in Moab redefines being a Bad A

Who doesn't love a good story about irony?

I'm the odd ball out in almost every way in my family. Out of the three siblings I have all the weird genes. I didn't grow big muscles and I didn't like meat. When we would have barbeque for almost every meal I would have a tortilla with peanut butter. So I was a late bloomer and uncoordinated...and still am a little bit.

BUT

That's cool. I'll just use that to my advantage and dress like the giant pansy I am. The pansy who runs a half marathon after training on a treadmill. The pansy who could have trained a little better but goes through with it anyway because she is STUBBORN athletic! Plus, where are my coordinated athletic siblings now?! HMMM?

Tiffany and I finished stitching the shirt around the campfire. What, you don't embroider when you camp?

 As an interesting side note around mile 7 or 8 two girls who were right behind me ran up and asked if they could take a picture with me (my backside) because my outfit was so Bad A**. I hope we all learn to associate Hardcore with wearing purple tutus and declaring how NOT HARDCORE you are.

As Roomie put it- running 13 miles is pretty crazy in and of itself. No need for proof. Giving myself more credit one step at a time.

Speaking of credit, that outfit was even better at the end of the race after being soaked in my sheer AWESOMENESS. You know...cause girls don't sweat.

I felt every mile of this one. Wind gusts were dead on the entire time. Birds couldn't fly. A nice little group set up at mile 6 offering all runners beer, tequila, and donuts in honor of St. Patrick's Day. Little tempters. I heard the people who took the alcohol puked. Dehydration with most of the race ahead of you? Man, the Word of Wisdom doesn't always kick in with immediate consequences...but when it does, you are taking a shot of Jose Cuervo 2 miles away from a bathroom with 7 more miles to go in a half marathon.

Some decisions are easier than others apparently. 

I tried explaining to my roomie why I love endurance racing so much even if it makes me a cripple for days afterwards. There is just nothing like beating yourself in a race when everything in you wants to give up/ die. You just find that last bit of resolve somewhere deep deep down where you didn't know you had it and you finish. And there are always friends and volunteers strategically placed where you need the most encouragement. It's just like life. You aren't even ashamed that you were beat by a power walking grandma because you weren't racing her. You were racing yourself. She was an ultra-grannie anyway.

Let it go Jen.

Nothing says pain like a wonderfully ungraceful race day picture!

Glorious reality

 By far not my best race day but I was in Moab, hadn't really slept, and biked the day before. I didn't lose any limbs so who am I to complain? And I had my friends with me! Jay even massaged my calve muscles and complained about my pokey cactus like hair. It's something I would imagine Nicky to have said and done.

I think this is Mackenzie and Bailey checking out my rear. I'll pretend at least. Jay was nice enough to point out that a 10 year old boy came in 20 minutes before this.Best Friends EVER!

 Oblivious to the world around me

I think the above conversation went something like this
Jen: Grunt...zombie noises...Banana!
Kandi: Are you dying?

I am so thankful my friends were with me. 
Tiffany quietly made sure I didn't roll over and die after this. She had my back the whole time. Kandi drove my car home like a champ. Jeff made me sprint to the finish line even though I yelled at him for it. Jessica took pictures and compared race stories(She's a boss). Mack-Dawg and Bailey were hilarious. And Jay periodically picked me up as awkwardly as possible so I wouldn't have to slow the group down.
Let's not even get started on Denny's. My favorite part was washing up in the bathroom. I'm making that into an art form.

Next running goal? Marathon in October. You better believe I will enjoy training for that mess.

What have I learned from all of this?

Justice league can't even handle super pansy NOW!

All relationship advice is given to me before valentine's day...unless it is given from my dad because that happens ALL THE TIME

My Dad's Classic Dating Advice Gems
"Have you thought about wearing more make-up?"
"Men like it when you have good personal hygiene"
"You need a sexy walk"
"Do you even talk to guys?"

Hey-O!

I usually avoid, ignore, and destroy all dating messages that are given to me because I am secretly...

Super Spinster doesn't wear real pants!

 It's a pretty budding career path as a super hero. I save puppies, only wear pajama pants and eat lots of chocolate without weight gain worries!...but after being inundated with dating advice for the past two weeks with no end in sight I thought I would share my favorite gems. Some are winners and some...not so much. We could all use a little more laughter on the subject though so we don't get caught up in this

This will not last! Plus, I'm pretty sure my dog still loves me. You rock Diamond Belle!

Gem number 1.

Physical touch is very important to a lady. After hugging someone for just 20 seconds she has developed a trust bond with them.

If anyone tells you a girl develops a trust bond with you after getting hugged for 20 seconds THEY ARE LYING TO YOU. Do not force someone to hug you for 20 seconds. It is extremely uncomfortable and will make them cringe at the thought of you getting within 4 feet of their person.

Just...you know...from experience. 

Actual Legit Gem #1

A stake Relief Society workshop was held (that is a meeting for all the women in my geographical area by the LDS church) where a social worker counseled us on creating healthy dating relationships. I, of course, lost the hand out so I'll just copy the important parts that I remembered for you. 

She explained that after working with so many broken relationships she had come up with this ladder (or tweaked one she found I'm not sure). As women we start dating someone in either the friend or close friend stage (or we shouldn't start earlier than that for a healthy relationship). To bring a friend to close friend you need trust and then you need commitment. Where you are officially going steady depends on the person but you can't expect to talk about white picket fences and babies when you haven't reached a stronger commitment level. These steps also take time getting to know the person and we shouldn't rush them. She explained that the women who jumped straight from the first three into intimate partners were stunted in their relationships and they inevitably failed. Either way I realized that I wanted to acquire more close friends- not necessarily in a dating sense. I also realized I need to take better care of my relationships and not let them die out like my pet cactus I keep at work. RIP Pokey.

God wants us to be happy. We are his children and we need and deserve good relationships that uplift us and make us want to be our best selves. There is absolutely no reason you need to settle for anything less. Don't settle for less than would be befitting of a daughter or son of God. You are important and beautiful and doing your best. At least, you should be doing your best. Don't give up. This time of year requires a particular sensitivity to those that are alone. Remember:

 Happy is the heart that still feels pain
darkness leaves and light will come again
swing open up your chest and let it in
just let the love,love,love begin

Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, and I fully intend on giving up my Spinster title one day when a truly stalwart man comes into my life with this mind set

 I am confident in someone surviving my awesome weirdness and being my best friend/puddle-jumping puppy-walking partner.

In the mean time...

This book provides great advice for all your dating woes and triumphs!
"If any of my recipes are low fat
I’m sorry, it was unintentional."

 

 

You're welcome in advance for this awesome read.

Scientists can do anything!

Remember that time I failed miserably at curling my hair? I think it was because I wasn't working with hazardous chemicals! That's my niche people. So I don't have a lot of hair which means if I screw up- i'll only have to live with it for a couple weeks. Right? Of course right!

Picking a hair color is akin to dating. I'm afraid of committing to a crazy change! So here is how my sister convinced me to go with the color I chose.

Sister: Look last time you went dark you couldn't even tell. You need drastic.

Me: I could tell!

Sister: You just got a new calling and it's a new year and you're crazy! What would Jem do?! She was blonde and went pink all the time and it worked for her. Just make sure and wear lots of bright colors otherwise people will think you're goth. Scratch that, write dad a goth poem and then show him. Hahaha.

WWJD indeed. Does it worry anyone else that I get fashion advice from an 80s cartoon?

So I went drastic- drastic for me that is.

So I went to work- mixed the color and lo and behold it turned blue on my scalp!

I shouldn't do things like this alone. As an aside if you are trying this at home use vaseline around your scalp and on your ears so the blue doesn't stay.

20 minutes later including rinsing, conditioning, and hairdrying annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd

Drumroll please

I'm flippin' SNOW WHITE!

Sassy short black hair? Yes please. Happy New Year!!

A Thanksgiving Family Text-Fest

Here we are at Ihop...Thanks for makin' me soup

:D we like it! We're with you now!

 Left to right: snoowy, grandpa, Ariel, Jenny, jenny's lil robot

I'm huge!!

 We only have puppies at our table though ^_^

Is that me and dad?

Yes :3 you're snoowy dogs

   

Here we are!

And Ariel made you huge because you have an elaborate dress :)

Your phone sparkles like mine!

Of course

I think your puppy selves are a good match. Now Ariel can carry you all around!

Yay!! Ariel has grandpa and Jenny

      

Give that to ariel

She said thaaaaaank yooooou!!!!!!?!?!?!?1111111 and she wants you to draw snoowy lol

I bet dad likes your picture better than my puppy picture

Nope dad just said he likes the puppy picture better

It's more realistic anyway ;-)

Bahahahahahaha

Moms a pirate XD

lololololololololololololol

Edited

Ariel told her she was a pirate. Mom was cooperative

She likes it better now

Tell her grandpa is a grumpy moose

Send us a picture of belle with reindeer horns

"lolilolilololilililol he's silly"

  

Happy Thanksgiving Handy Family all over the world!

10 reasons my Dad is AWESOME

Meet my Pops.

His name is Oscar. Sometimes he is very similar to his trashcan dwelling counter-part...which is where I get it from too! Mwah ha ha

Moving on

This is my Pops as a youth. Doesn't he look like a handful? I mean look at that picture of him on the left. He looks like a small wolverine. I bet his mother prayed he would have children just like me and my siblings. He had lots of siblings and is one of the babies of the family.

Pops wanted to be like the rest of his siblings and went to Vietnam! Oh yes, yes, there is a lot more that happened between him being a mischievous youth and this picture. But this is just an introduction. 

What we want to know is why my dad is so awesome at being a dad. He seems to have been a pretty ordinary kid. Maybe a little gangster but still.

Little known fact:Pop's parenting manual actually never got mailed to him from the powers that be. He actually had to figure it out as he went along...and he doesn't think he did a very good job. Which is sad. I like to think that no parent does a good job at first. It takes lots of practice. Sometimes all your kids need to be in their mid-twenties or much much older. We understand you are doing your best though. And honestly, I can't imagine anyone doing any better given the circumstances. Even Liam Neeson was a crappy parent at first before he killed all the terrorists in Europe to save his daughter (Reference movie Taken)

Besides, we have provided you with only the best training.

So without further ado here are 10 reasons why my Dad is awesome.


10) He has introduced me to the good movies. Here is an example

Even John Wayne can make an excellent romantic comedy. Real men can be sensitive & have feelings.


9) He mailed my sewing machine to me without it breaking.

Sometimes all you need is a whole crap ton of duct tape and bubble wrap. Oh, and a box from your new camping stove.

8) He is the embodiment of Carl Fredrickson...only a tad bit younger.

SAME PERSON!



7) If it matters to his children it matters to him. I went through the Salt Lake LDS temple for my 24th birthday to receive the ordinance of the endowment. He flew up to support me because it mattered to me and is still supporting me in my decision to be an active member of the latter day saint faith.

6) He still loves my mother.

And he can't get rid of that no matter how crazy vegetable-like mentally ill she is. I wish I could be a little more like that.


5)  He is a dinosaur

Now that is OLD!

4) He goes on daring adventures with me!

And makes me feel like a super hero when we go hiking. Yay!! I can run around the delicate arch faster than a 60 year old! Oh and he was a good sport and made it out the whole 3 mile hike. 

3) He made a deal with me that he wouldn't die until I got married. And had a kid.

Welcome to breaking the world's oldest man record Pops. Your goal is in sight.

2) He can pretend to be hardcore knowing full well his back will probably hurt later.

I'm a 60 year old man and I do what I want!!

I bike from Montana to Wyoming CAUSE I CAN!

1) He is coming to understand that he isn't dead yet. To put it simpler, even though he is 61 he still has a lot of life left and more time to change for the better. Sometimes we let ourselves dwell on the past. I'm sure it will get more tempting the older we get and the more we go through. But while we still have tomorrows to look forward to we should really get up and do something about it. He may be retired from the work force but that only means he has QUADRUPLE THE TIME TO SPEND WITH HIS FAMILY! God Speed Daddio. Keep forging the path ahead. You aren't as bad at this parenting thing as you believe yourself to be.