Better be prepared to be surprised

Some people wonder what it is like being me. Well let me give you a glimpse- be warned. This is not for the faint of heart.

I have a pretty big imagination and can easily entertain myself. So if you see me walking alone and laughing, dancing, or talking to myself...don't be surprised. I almost ran into a guy at work because I was twirling into the photo developer room. At least he smiled...or laughed at me. Come on! Got to break the monotony somehow people.

I also have my own theme music. I hear it in my mind most of the time.

I also have hopes and dreams just like everyone else.

Ok... so perhaps this is one of my less realistic dreams. I mean come on, if I wore that dress at work it would probably become radioactive by accident and I wouldn't be able to wear it for a year because it would be locked in a drawer waiting for the radio isotope to decay. I know. Tragic. -.- I still miss my pants...

ANYWAY

I, also, like most of my female friends, hold out hope that one day my prince charming will come riding up to me on a llama bearing gifts of food (not just the key to a man's heart btw). Alas, a dream is but a dream and as there is not much I can do to hurry that llama along in this instance I will just have to be patient and wait on God's timing.

For anyone who doesn't know me....I SUCK AT BEING PATIENT. I have found things to help me not focus on that as much though. Making goals really helps. But if you are me and you want me to change you're going to have put a little more effort into it than what usually works for other people. What can I say? The handy family stubborn gene is strong in me.

I, therefore, list my goals out in writing. Then I break them down into smaller steps to help the outcome seem reachable. That's all fine and good for motivating me for...a day. But if I want this to work I need to write my goals everywhere...or I will forget. I mean practically engrave them on the back of my eye lids.

For those of you worried for my roommate- no worries I only write my messages to myself on the mirrors in my room.

I even made my self a large goal board that I see from my bed at night.

And guess what? After 7 months my initial goal board goals are gone and passed. And boy did I receive the biggest surprise ever. I only finished two of them.

There was a whole BOARD!

Talk about frustration.

Poop.  My word choice at the moment for venting frustration.

These were valid goals that were going to make me a better person. I mean some things I realized needed more time than others but what about the advances in my social life and job and why was I still having such a hard time getting over health problems that had begun a year earlier? Far from forgetting me, the Lord took me on a little journey that felt like torture but was actually the best thing that could possibly be done. I had to learn things and basically be torn down and rebuilt on the inside. You can't really measure inward spiritual progress easily or character growth. How was my goal board supposed to show me that?

Let me show you an example

Old Monthly Goal: go to the temple every week (this is the latter day saint temple) for service

What Actually Happened: decided to make new covenants at temple and receive my endowment. (for those of you who aren't lds it is kind of like going through confirmation) Now I go to the temple for service and to learn more about God. This has changed my whole perspective.

Perhaps now I can dream bigger...

side note: I've decided I love this artist. Go check out the website at  ilovedoodle.com ....googling win!

So does that mean one day I'm going to wake up and not be socially awkward and be someone that people think- yeah, I can trust her because I know she won't let me down? Yes, and that will be the same day I will be issued my very own light saber.

Of course not. I will probably always let people down (and be a little socially awkward.) but as long as I am moving forward God won't let me down. No one is perfect. I'm still his daughter and it will always be better to get back up and keep trying because you never know what the next adventure will be.

Unfortunately I have not made many more goals. I have found myself once again in a place where I didn't think I would be but now I am a little excited to see what happens. Suggestions are always welcome...except from my dad because I already know what he has to say on the matter. That is what parents are for right- to be very vocal so they will be the voice in their children's heads. on repeat. love ya pops!

I'm learning that life is always better than I expected.