Better be prepared to be surprised

Some people wonder what it is like being me. Well let me give you a glimpse- be warned. This is not for the faint of heart.

I have a pretty big imagination and can easily entertain myself. So if you see me walking alone and laughing, dancing, or talking to myself...don't be surprised. I almost ran into a guy at work because I was twirling into the photo developer room. At least he smiled...or laughed at me. Come on! Got to break the monotony somehow people.

I also have my own theme music. I hear it in my mind most of the time.

I also have hopes and dreams just like everyone else.

Ok... so perhaps this is one of my less realistic dreams. I mean come on, if I wore that dress at work it would probably become radioactive by accident and I wouldn't be able to wear it for a year because it would be locked in a drawer waiting for the radio isotope to decay. I know. Tragic. -.- I still miss my pants...

ANYWAY

I, also, like most of my female friends, hold out hope that one day my prince charming will come riding up to me on a llama bearing gifts of food (not just the key to a man's heart btw). Alas, a dream is but a dream and as there is not much I can do to hurry that llama along in this instance I will just have to be patient and wait on God's timing.

For anyone who doesn't know me....I SUCK AT BEING PATIENT. I have found things to help me not focus on that as much though. Making goals really helps. But if you are me and you want me to change you're going to have put a little more effort into it than what usually works for other people. What can I say? The handy family stubborn gene is strong in me.

I, therefore, list my goals out in writing. Then I break them down into smaller steps to help the outcome seem reachable. That's all fine and good for motivating me for...a day. But if I want this to work I need to write my goals everywhere...or I will forget. I mean practically engrave them on the back of my eye lids.

For those of you worried for my roommate- no worries I only write my messages to myself on the mirrors in my room.

I even made my self a large goal board that I see from my bed at night.

And guess what? After 7 months my initial goal board goals are gone and passed. And boy did I receive the biggest surprise ever. I only finished two of them.

There was a whole BOARD!

Talk about frustration.

Poop.  My word choice at the moment for venting frustration.

These were valid goals that were going to make me a better person. I mean some things I realized needed more time than others but what about the advances in my social life and job and why was I still having such a hard time getting over health problems that had begun a year earlier? Far from forgetting me, the Lord took me on a little journey that felt like torture but was actually the best thing that could possibly be done. I had to learn things and basically be torn down and rebuilt on the inside. You can't really measure inward spiritual progress easily or character growth. How was my goal board supposed to show me that?

Let me show you an example

Old Monthly Goal: go to the temple every week (this is the latter day saint temple) for service

What Actually Happened: decided to make new covenants at temple and receive my endowment. (for those of you who aren't lds it is kind of like going through confirmation) Now I go to the temple for service and to learn more about God. This has changed my whole perspective.

Perhaps now I can dream bigger...

side note: I've decided I love this artist. Go check out the website at  ilovedoodle.com ....googling win!

So does that mean one day I'm going to wake up and not be socially awkward and be someone that people think- yeah, I can trust her because I know she won't let me down? Yes, and that will be the same day I will be issued my very own light saber.

Of course not. I will probably always let people down (and be a little socially awkward.) but as long as I am moving forward God won't let me down. No one is perfect. I'm still his daughter and it will always be better to get back up and keep trying because you never know what the next adventure will be.

Unfortunately I have not made many more goals. I have found myself once again in a place where I didn't think I would be but now I am a little excited to see what happens. Suggestions are always welcome...except from my dad because I already know what he has to say on the matter. That is what parents are for right- to be very vocal so they will be the voice in their children's heads. on repeat. love ya pops!

I'm learning that life is always better than I expected.

My favorite little monster

Hangin' out with my niece this summer was so much fun, but gave me a whole new perspective on having kids. Mainly, that I'm not ready to have my own yet. Good thing I'm single! (There are silver linings)

Playing with her is the BEST! Plus, Ariel and I share the same best friend: Diamond Belle.

Ariel showed her love for her bestest buddy by playing with her. I did by saving her from the little girl.
"Ariel where is Diamond Belle?"
"I put her on the door"
I would find my pup looking ever so sad-leash connected to a random closest doorknob but not making any sounds. Such a patient good dog.

What makes Ariel such a good little monster? She taught herself how to do a handstand when she was in timeout because she had nothing better to do. Brilliant I say! She is also an artist and the world is her CANVAS! Rubbing alcohol should take off permanent marker...for the record.

Basically, being an Aunt to this girl is AWESOME!

One of my favorite things to do with her is read her stories. (Most of the time I make them up though)
The story is usually about Mater and Lightning McQueen taking her on adventures. Those are her favorite.

But I want to read her Fancy Nancy books.

I totally see them relating. Plus then I can teach her fancy words just like I teach her how to make funny faces >;o]

Ariel teaches me all sorts of awesome things (like how to be freakin' adorable and mischievous at the same time..I mean come on I'm working on it)

Here she teaches her dear Auntie Jenny how to tame a dinosaur.She then let's her friends take rides on him.
Talent my friends. Pure talent.

Auntie Jenny Fail

It is true when the scriptures say we need to "become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." The little girl is so full of spunk and love. Sure, she is still a little girl and gets grumpy when she doesn't get her nap, but she is so willing to learn. Whenever she gets in trouble you can tell she is very sorry. No wonder they say when you want to come unto Christ you need to be like a child. Ariel teaches me not to let bitterness overcome me because of my own life experiences. Also happiness is not dependent on your circumstances. I hope Ariel remembers how much worth she has. I know her mom does her best to tell her. It makes me think that Heavenly Father must think the same thing about us. Oh how I hope they remember how much they are worth. And thinking of my favorite little monster and knowing I'd never ever stop loving her helps me understand that of course my Heavenly Father would never stop loving me.

So she is the rainbow sprinkle topping for my life- It just wasn't great enough without Ariel.

If my life were a movie what genre would it be and who would I chose to play me?

Well, I sure do love movies from the 1950s but I just can't see my life fitting into that stereotype.

Look at that intense gaze. How could you leave Grace Kelly to have a duel?!

 Or, maybe I could...

Either way, if you think about it life is so much more interesting than the movies! Actors need to go home and live out their lives when all is said and done. I just finished reading an autobiography by Julie Andrews called Home. She had a horrible childhood-basically providing for herself and her family from the age of 14. Living with her mother and stepfather,visiting her dad, then learning that her biological dad wasn't even the dad she was raised with. I think I'll stay with my own life thank you very much. I have my own problems!

It is nice to daydream about having a super attractive actress play the role of Jen Handy. Wait, no it isn't! Basically, with this thought process, I'm saying I want people to view me as awesome based solely on my looks. But, isn't attractiveness all relative? And what if I like me the way I am? What if someone else will one day think I'm super attractive just the way I am? I lived through this! You can't play my role. It's my role!

Life is dirty and some times it sucks. You can't photo shop life. And you also can't include all the important things in just one movie. Ok, so putting my life into a movie would take out all the boring moments (I'm looking at you pipettes.)

Look what I would miss out on though:

This is my lunch break at work. I went on a hike. 

 

You know, cause I work at the base of a mountain and I can do that.

The sunset when I get off of work on the mountains is pretty nice too

There is also the great feeling of being at a new chapter in your life-first time being out of school since I was 6. Now I get to try out all those hobbies I always wanted to!

He has an angry eye!

Ok, so maybe shooting zombie beavers to avoid apocalypse could be made into a movie. As could then beating the House of the Dead game,pretending to be 16, killing big game, eating french food and procuring milkshakes at 11pm on a Saturday in Salt Lake City ...

 

You have to shoot those beavers in the dead center though or he gets back up and tries to eat your LIVER!

Ask Mike Merrel. He was the one who finally took him DOWN. 

 

If that gets turned into a movie I expect royalties. I mean, I survived the zombie beaver apocalypse by like 1 shot. I should get money for my grief.

I'll also accept milkshakes.

  

See how fun regular life can really be? Things that don't matter to others meant the world to me in my life. Where the world seems to be casting off religion as outdated it sure does mean a lot to me. 

One of the best days of my life

How do you make a movie that shows the knowledge that a being greater than the whole world claims you as his child and loves you? We try to portray it but is is nearly impossible. The only way to really do it is to try talking to him yourself. If there is anything I have learned it is that God really does hear all of our prayers. Why else would I have joined the LDS church?

Life is hard. I make lots of mistakes that make it harder. But that's ok. I don't want it to be like a movie. I want to enjoy all the moments of it. The loud boisterous car rides to P-town with my friends and the quiet evenings I get to enjoy being "boring." What a gift life really is even when it sucks. I need to open my eyes a little more to the small things that a movie just wouldn't catch. 

Real life is so much better than the movies.

Happy Valentine's Day!! Go hug your friends!!

the pattern for these was found here

Now don't go being sad on Valentine's day if you don't have a significant other! Make awesome valentine's treats instead. Bwah ha ha ha. That's right. I gave these to my friends.

Having trouble coming up with ideas to share with your loved ones?

http://www.jacksofscience.com/art/bring-love-to-the-lab-with-a-science-valentine/

The man I marry will find a way to incorporate this in a valentine for me

This one is for my sister :-) 

Look here for more ideas!

Or you could really go all out and do science experiments  on this day of love. I'm doing this with my future kids only I'm just going to tell them that I'm magical.

I'm really not always this dorky people. Don't worry, I'm sure one day I'll be all cheesy and romantic but I don't have to do that yet!!! In the mean time I live by the immortal words of Donald O'Connor "Make 'em laugh-Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?"

Have a Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!

It's the little things

So I decided that I need to pay more attention to what brings me joy in life and to make more of an effort to remember it. Heavenly Father loves me and sometimes I don't feel that as much as I should. Logically, if God were my Father then he would be involved in the tiniest details of my life right? I just need to open my eyes to it. And as usual, he was just waiting for me to come looking for him. So what are the things that have been bringing joy to my life?



I like to laugh. A lot. At work, usually I'm the only one in on the joke but I don't mind.

Funny story from work

(for those of you who don't know what I do, I'm a lab tech in a medical research lab)

This may or may not be a Dramatic Reenactment

Changing mouse cages has become a stress relief at work. All you do it catch them by their tails, change their food and water. That's it. Nothing sketchy about that...

Sometimes the mice are really feisty and futilely try to hide under whatever there is to get away from the Giant Hand™

So I talk to them.

Oh, why don't you be like the other little mouse and don't run away! Look he isn't moving at all! I'll just get him out from under this nesting....

Hey little buddy...you don't look so good....

I don't know who drew this but I thank them for illustrating my nightmares.

GAH!!!! THIS MOUSE IS ALREADY DEAD@#$%!!!!!!


Another lab person decides not to ignore my existence like usual and says all sorts of casual "So what's goin' on?"
To which I promptly reply-perhaps a bit too promptly- that there is a cold dead mouse staring back at me that I didn't kill.

.... crickets

crickets

He shoots me a weird look and goes back about his business all within 5 seconds. 
Apparently I should not be freaked out by this because I work in medical research.
Whatever. His skin was coming away from his little skull!!! ;.;  
It made me so jumpy that when I was walking to the Institute building a guy on a bike passed me on the grass and I freaked out because I thought he was a squirrel coming after me.

Point being, I've come a long way since my move to Salt Lake. It also takes a little bit to get back in the swing of working in a lab.

Work isn't all about zombie mice though. The cactus I brought to work started to really thrive. One of the cacti even started to grow a flower! But then it started to die.

 Which was sad.

 but Laura fixed it with a specially made pipette tip antibody flower holder-upper. It worked great! And that's when Jen and Laura's nerdy friendship really began.



My family also makes me really happy.

Even though I am far far away from my family and therefore my niece Ariel, she still remembers how to make the trademark handy face that I taught her. I even get to see it on my iPhone because of a wonderful invention called "FaceTime"

that's my girl!

I also love hearing about how my dad takes my dog on long car trips to the hill country. She is my best friend in the whole wide world! PS this is not socially weird I swear! If you had a dog for 10 years you would understand!

It was cold outside and she just got shaved. Poor lil sausage.

On Saturdays and when I get out of work earlier I head on over to the Humane Society. I tried going around to help all the different animals at first but let's face it- I love the dogs best. I'm sure Diamond Belle would approve of this.

scratch my belly please

This is my friend Dante. I've seen him ever since he entered the shelter. I taught him to sit and shake my hand. Now he rolls over and wants me to scratch his belly whenever he sees me. He also likes to play fetch- or rather he likes when I throw things for him to get and then likes it when I chase him in circles trying to get it back.

Then there is Jet. Holy Crap this kid has ENERGY. He almost jumped over the 8 foot tall kennel wall when he saw me holding the leash. He would play fetch until he literally fell over and died. And he brings the ball back and waits for you to throw it again!

Watch out for him though- he is a fast mover...

                                                                           ...planted one right on my kisser! YUCK

If I'm feeling particularly down on myself I can drag myself to the humane society and no matter how late in the day it is BAM! unconditional love from my dog friends. They are just so FLUFFY I COULD DIE! There are so many awesome things going on with the shelter I just wish I could do more.

 

As a side note- if you know anyone in the Utah valley area looking for amazing dogs these are some of the best out there.

 

My library card is one of the best things that happened to me here. I am in love with the library hold system. I usually put 5 books on hold at a time and they trickle in at a great rate where I can find time to read to my hearts content. Unless it is all three books in The Hunger Games then I will read until 5 in the morning on a work day. You know it is a really good book if you won't sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom until you are finished. I've just read The Help, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Peel Society, and The Princess Bride. I currently have checked out The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, The complete poems and plays of T.S. Elliot (I needed a meaty piece of literature to research and absorb) and The Lives They Left Behind: Suitcases from a State Hospital Attic by Darby Penney and Peter Stastny. The latter is the one I'm currently reading and it is heart-rending and so interesting.

 This book is a tender mercy in and of itself because it is helping me open my mind and heart to my mom. One day I'll be able to call her more often and I know God will help me with that. I also have Cooking for Geeks: Real Science, Great Hacks, and Good Food, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, and Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void (I think Teagan should read this one too) on hold. When I'm through with these I have 5 more to put on hold: Bold spirit : Helga Estby's forgotten walk across Victorian America, Don Quixote,  My life as a furry red monster : what being Elmo has taught me about life, love, and laughing out loud, Three Cups of Tea and Water for Elephants. I'm always on the look out for books to add to my list too. The other day I found that reading childrens book really helps me simplify my life and remember how much I am loved. It's like all my fond childhood memories from the Live Oak Library come up when I go read. 

She didn't live happily ever after, but she did have a long life and was happy most of the time.

 

Go read Her Mother's Face by Roddy Doyle. And if you're looking for a good laugh go read Walter the Farting Dog- highly recommended by the New York Times. Bubba the Cowboy Prince was also hilarious. I love to laugh at little things like this and I'm so grateful I have access to all of this with my library card.  Whole worlds are opened up to me that are full of such joy.

I also just learned that you can download 3 free songs a week through my library. Guess who just got Julie Andrews singing I'm so pretty? That's right. Me. BOOYA!

Life isn't always what we expect it to be. To be honest, sometimes I wonder if I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this. It can be so hard. Knowing that things will all be made right in the eternities is comforting but it is the little things God shows me through the daily struggle that helps me hold on. He really knows me, you know? And He is still ok with me. That is what really amazes me. 

Total side note:

Can I just say how much fun it is to sit next to Star Christensen during sacrament meeting? Bah ha ha ha. Joy. That is what today was for me. Singing joy really loud instead of some equally good words during I Stand All Amazed.

Today in church we learned to focus on the things that bring us joy. These are just some of mine. Yours are probably completely different and that is ok. I would hate to think there were 2 of me running around. Write down the things that help you to know God is watching over you today. Don't wait. It will make you smile.

Ode to my family.

I like shocking people with my Hispanic heritage because you can't tell by looking at me that any Mexican blood runs through my veins. I'm the whitest one at my Handy family reunions other than my sister Stephanie (ha ha).

So I don't really look like my family at all...so what?
Well other than believing I come from a random milk man (which I don't!) I looked a little more into it.

My maternal grandparents ( the Hispanic ones I never really knew because they died before my working memory) are pure Scandinavian. A sign that reads"You can always tell a Norwegian but you can't tell him much"  hangs proudly on their wall.

They make yearly pilgrimages up to North Dakota to visit their old haunting grounds, friends, and relatives. They use to send us home with lefse and put mayonnaise on their peanut butter sandwiches. Ok, that last part may just be because my grandpa liked his mayo...still not sure about that one.

Last time I got to visit them I looked a little closer in their photo albums trying to learn more about the family I resemble the most.

Wow. This year will mark their 59th wedding anniversary. I wonder what my Dad thinks about them being married for almost his ENTIRE LIFE. Did you know the president sends you a letter on your 50th wedding anniversary? Yeah. He does. But only if you are THAT cool.

This is my Grandmother's Senior Picture

She was a nurse, ya know. I believe she was a nurse in the war. Which war? I don't really know. But maybe it was the same war my grandpa fought in.

Korea I believe. Then they married :-) And all sorts of pictures like this abounded

Sure, life wasn't always happy for them. But it was happy most of the time. They moved to Texas because my grandmother hated the snow- just like ME! We would have Christmas with them when I was little and my grandpa would always say you need to invent chocolate microwave popcorn. Then you can retire.

He still asks if I have done that yet.

They don't have the internet- don't tell them ok?

Point is I have a pretty cool family.














And when people ask me who I look like....

                                                                                       I'll proudly say my grandma.

And if you want to see the great people you're related to ask your parents or find your family tree here

It's so easy to forget about how cool your family is when you move away. Then people wonder why you are the way you are. You think about it for a little bit then come across something like this:

Who ARE these weirdos?

Oh yeah,they are my weirdos!

And everything starts to make sense again.

Because living with my family sure has helped me become who I am. A host of pictures can't tell all the good and not so good memories that have come from this. 

Hey Nick, remember that one time we used to strap Diamond Belle to her harness and she would pull you on roller skates all over the neighborhood? She was so happy even though she wore holes in her little footpads. Then remember how we put ointment on her feet and had to tie socks to them?

Or Steph, you remember how we would paint boxes and you taught me art? Shade shade shade we love to shade. 

Hey Dad, remember that card we got you with a monkey on it that is in Spanish and how you have it hung up in your bathroom. 

That's right. Guess we do care about each other. (Dude, do you know how long it took me to remember things that happened longer than 5 years ago? No more head trauma for me or I'll forget EVERYTHING!)

Anyway, when I forget about where I came from, generally, I'm unhappy and that cannot be more true of when I forget that I am a daughter of God. And that we are all children of God. It is amazing what that little bit of knowledge will do for your perspective on life and how much a difference it makes knowing that the Supreme Creator has a very special interest in your life because you are his family.

Try not to forget that ok?

I promise it will make your day better. Just think about it a little bit- God loves you and he remembers you.

"So when I make big mistake
When I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am "

Jessica Andrews-just fyi this is from a country song 

Cause that is how I roll

Word to Mama the hut.