Well, I sure do love movies from the 1950s but I just can't see my life fitting into that stereotype.
Look at that intense gaze. How could you leave Grace Kelly to have a duel?!
Or, maybe I could...
Either way, if you think about it life is so much more interesting than the movies! Actors need to go home and live out their lives when all is said and done. I just finished reading an autobiography by Julie Andrews called Home. She had a horrible childhood-basically providing for herself and her family from the age of 14. Living with her mother and stepfather,visiting her dad, then learning that her biological dad wasn't even the dad she was raised with. I think I'll stay with my own life thank you very much. I have my own problems!
It is nice to daydream about having a super attractive actress play the role of Jen Handy. Wait, no it isn't! Basically, with this thought process, I'm saying I want people to view me as awesome based solely on my looks. But, isn't attractiveness all relative? And what if I like me the way I am? What if someone else will one day think I'm super attractive just the way I am? I lived through this! You can't play my role. It's my role!
Life is dirty and some times it sucks. You can't photo shop life. And you also can't include all the important things in just one movie. Ok, so putting my life into a movie would take out all the boring moments (I'm looking at you pipettes.)
Look what I would miss out on though:
This is my lunch break at work. I went on a hike.
You know, cause I work at the base of a mountain and I can do that.
The sunset when I get off of work on the mountains is pretty nice too
There is also the great feeling of being at a new chapter in your life-first time being out of school since I was 6. Now I get to try out all those hobbies I always wanted to!
He has an angry eye!
Ok, so maybe shooting zombie beavers to avoid apocalypse could be made into a movie. As could then beating the House of the Dead game,pretending to be 16, killing big game, eating french food and procuring milkshakes at 11pm on a Saturday in Salt Lake City ...
You have to shoot those beavers in the dead center though or he gets back up and tries to eat your LIVER!
Ask Mike Merrel. He was the one who finally took him DOWN.
If that gets turned into a movie I expect royalties. I mean, I survived the zombie beaver apocalypse by like 1 shot. I should get money for my grief.
I'll also accept milkshakes.
See how fun regular life can really be? Things that don't matter to others meant the world to me in my life. Where the world seems to be casting off religion as outdated it sure does mean a lot to me.
One of the best days of my life
How do you make a movie that shows the knowledge that a being greater than the whole world claims you as his child and loves you? We try to portray it but is is nearly impossible. The only way to really do it is to try talking to him yourself. If there is anything I have learned it is that God really does hear all of our prayers. Why else would I have joined the LDS church?
Life is hard. I make lots of mistakes that make it harder. But that's ok. I don't want it to be like a movie. I want to enjoy all the moments of it. The loud boisterous car rides to P-town with my friends and the quiet evenings I get to enjoy being "boring." What a gift life really is even when it sucks. I need to open my eyes a little more to the small things that a movie just wouldn't catch.
Now don't go being sad on Valentine's day if you don't have a significant other! Make awesome valentine's treats instead. Bwah ha ha ha. That's right. I gave these to my friends.
Having trouble coming up with ideas to share with your loved ones?
The man I marry will find a way to incorporate this in a valentine for me
This one is for my sister :-)
Look here for more ideas!
Or you could really go all out and do science experiments on this day of love. I'm doing this with my future kids only I'm just going to tell them that I'm magical.
I'm really not always this dorky people. Don't worry, I'm sure one day I'll be all cheesy and romantic but I don't have to do that yet!!! In the mean time I live by the immortal words of Donald O'Connor "Make 'em laugh-Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?"
So I decided that I need to pay more attention to what brings me joy in life and to make more of an effort to remember it. Heavenly Father loves me and sometimes I don't feel that as much as I should. Logically, if God were my Father then he would be involved in the tiniest details of my life right? I just need to open my eyes to it. And as usual, he was just waiting for me to come looking for him. So what are the things that have been bringing joy to my life?
I like to laugh. A lot. At work, usually I'm the only one in on the joke but I don't mind.
Funny story from work
(for those of you who don't know what I do, I'm a lab tech in a medical research lab)
This may or may not be a Dramatic Reenactment
Changing mouse cages has become a stress relief at work. All you do it catch them by their tails, change their food and water. That's it. Nothing sketchy about that...
Sometimes the mice are really feisty and futilely try to hide under whatever there is to get away from the Giant Hand™
So I talk to them.
Oh, why don't you be like the other little mouse and don't run away! Look he isn't moving at all! I'll just get him out from under this nesting....
Hey little buddy...you don't look so good....
I don't know who drew this but I thank them for illustrating my nightmares.
GAH!!!! THIS MOUSE IS ALREADY DEAD@#$%!!!!!!
Another lab person decides not to ignore my existence like usual and says all sorts of casual "So what's goin' on?"
To which I promptly reply-perhaps a bit too promptly- that there is a cold dead mouse staring back at me that I didn't kill.
.... crickets
crickets
He shoots me a weird look and goes back about his business all within 5 seconds.
Apparently I should not be freaked out by this because I work in medical research.
Whatever. His skin was coming away from his little skull!!! ;.;
It made me so jumpy that when I was walking to the Institute building a guy on a bike passed me on the grass and I freaked out because I thought he was a squirrel coming after me.
Point being, I've come a long way since my move to Salt Lake. It also takes a little bit to get back in the swing of working in a lab.
Work isn't all about zombie mice though. The cactus I brought to work started to really thrive. One of the cacti even started to grow a flower! But then it started to die.
Which was sad.
but Laura fixed it with a specially made pipette tip antibody flower holder-upper. It worked great! And that's when Jen and Laura's nerdy friendship really began.
My family also makes me really happy.
Even though I am far far away from my family and therefore my niece Ariel, she still remembers how to make the trademark handy face that I taught her. I even get to see it on my iPhone because of a wonderful invention called "FaceTime"
that's my girl!
I also love hearing about how my dad takes my dog on long car trips to the hill country. She is my best friend in the whole wide world! PS this is not socially weird I swear! If you had a dog for 10 years you would understand!
It was cold outside and she just got shaved. Poor lil sausage.
On Saturdays and when I get out of work earlier I head on over to the Humane Society. I tried going around to help all the different animals at first but let's face it- I love the dogs best. I'm sure Diamond Belle would approve of this.
scratch my belly please
This is my friend Dante. I've seen him ever since he entered the shelter. I taught him to sit and shake my hand. Now he rolls over and wants me to scratch his belly whenever he sees me. He also likes to play fetch- or rather he likes when I throw things for him to get and then likes it when I chase him in circles trying to get it back.
Then there is Jet. Holy Crap this kid has ENERGY. He almost jumped over the 8 foot tall kennel wall when he saw me holding the leash. He would play fetch until he literally fell over and died. And he brings the ball back and waits for you to throw it again!
Watch out for him though- he is a fast mover...
...planted one right on my kisser! YUCK
If I'm feeling particularly down on myself I can drag myself to the humane society and no matter how late in the day it is BAM! unconditional love from my dog friends. They are just so FLUFFY I COULD DIE! There are so many awesome things going on with the shelter I just wish I could do more.
As a side note- if you know anyone in the Utah valley area looking for amazing dogs these are some of the best out there.
My library card is one of the best things that happened to me here. I am in love with the library hold system. I usually put 5 books on hold at a time and they trickle in at a great rate where I can find time to read to my hearts content. Unless it is all three books in The Hunger Games then I will read until 5 in the morning on a work day. You know it is a really good book if you won't sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom until you are finished. I've just read The Help, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Peel Society, and The Princess Bride. I currently have checked out The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, The complete poems and plays of T.S. Elliot (I needed a meaty piece of literature to research and absorb) and The Lives They Left Behind: Suitcases from a State Hospital Attic by Darby Penney and Peter Stastny. The latter is the one I'm currently reading and it is heart-rending and so interesting.
This book is a tender mercy in and of itself because it is helping me open my mind and heart to my mom. One day I'll be able to call her more often and I know God will help me with that. I also have Cooking for Geeks: Real Science, Great Hacks, and Good Food, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, and Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void (I think Teagan should read this one too) on hold. When I'm through with these I have 5 more to put on hold: Bold spirit : Helga Estby's forgotten walk across Victorian America, Don Quixote, My life as a furry red monster : what being Elmo has taught me about life, love, and laughing out loud, Three Cups of Tea and Water for Elephants. I'm always on the look out for books to add to my list too. The other day I found that reading childrens book really helps me simplify my life and remember how much I am loved. It's like all my fond childhood memories from the Live Oak Library come up when I go read.
She didn't live happily ever after, but she did have a long life and was happy most of the time.
Go read Her Mother's Face by Roddy Doyle. And if you're looking for a good laugh go read Walter the Farting Dog- highly recommended by the New York Times. Bubba the Cowboy Prince was also hilarious. I love to laugh at little things like this and I'm so grateful I have access to all of this with my library card. Whole worlds are opened up to me that are full of such joy.
I also just learned that you can download 3 free songs a week through my library. Guess who just got Julie Andrews singing I'm so pretty? That's right. Me. BOOYA!
Life isn't always what we expect it to be. To be honest, sometimes I wonder if I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this. It can be so hard. Knowing that things will all be made right in the eternities is comforting but it is the little things God shows me through the daily struggle that helps me hold on. He really knows me, you know? And He is still ok with me. That is what really amazes me.
Total side note:
Can I just say how much fun it is to sit next to Star Christensen during sacrament meeting? Bah ha ha ha. Joy. That is what today was for me. Singing joy really loud instead of some equally good words during I Stand All Amazed.
Today in church we learned to focus on the things that bring us joy. These are just some of mine. Yours are probably completely different and that is ok. I would hate to think there were 2 of me running around. Write down the things that help you to know God is watching over you today. Don't wait. It will make you smile.
I like shocking people with my Hispanic heritage because you can't tell by looking at me that any Mexican blood runs through my veins. I'm the whitest one at my Handy family reunions other than my sister Stephanie (ha ha).
So I don't really look like my family at all...so what?
Well other than believing I come from a random milk man (which I don't!) I looked a little more into it.
My maternal grandparents ( the Hispanic ones I never really knew because they died before my working memory) are pure Scandinavian. A sign that reads"You can always tell a Norwegian but you can't tell him much" hangs proudly on their wall.
They make yearly pilgrimages up to North Dakota to visit their old haunting grounds, friends, and relatives. They use to send us home with lefse and put mayonnaise on their peanut butter sandwiches. Ok, that last part may just be because my grandpa liked his mayo...still not sure about that one.
Last time I got to visit them I looked a little closer in their photo albums trying to learn more about the family I resemble the most.
Wow. This year will mark their 59th wedding anniversary. I wonder what my Dad thinks about them being married for almost his ENTIRE LIFE. Did you know the president sends you a letter on your 50th wedding anniversary? Yeah. He does. But only if you are THAT cool.
This is my Grandmother's Senior Picture
She was a nurse, ya know. I believe she was a nurse in the war. Which war? I don't really know. But maybe it was the same war my grandpa fought in.
Korea I believe. Then they married :-) And all sorts of pictures like this abounded
Sure, life wasn't always happy for them. But it was happy most of the time. They moved to Texas because my grandmother hated the snow- just like ME! We would have Christmas with them when I was little and my grandpa would always say you need to invent chocolate microwave popcorn. Then you can retire.
It's so easy to forget about how cool your family is when you move away. Then people wonder why you are the way you are. You think about it for a little bit then come across something like this:
Who ARE these weirdos?
Oh yeah,they are my weirdos!
And everything starts to make sense again.
Because living with my family sure has helped me become who I am. A host of pictures can't tell all the good and not so good memories that have come from this.
Hey Nick, remember that one time we used to strap Diamond Belle to her harness and she would pull you on roller skates all over the neighborhood? She was so happy even though she wore holes in her little footpads. Then remember how we put ointment on her feet and had to tie socks to them?
Or Steph, you remember how we would paint boxes and you taught me art? Shade shade shade we love to shade.
Hey Dad, remember that card we got you with a monkey on it that is in Spanish and how you have it hung up in your bathroom.
That's right. Guess we do care about each other. (Dude, do you know how long it took me to remember things that happened longer than 5 years ago? No more head trauma for me or I'll forget EVERYTHING!)
Anyway, when I forget about where I came from, generally, I'm unhappy and that cannot be more true of when I forget that I am a daughter of God. And that we are all children of God. It is amazing what that little bit of knowledge will do for your perspective on life and how much a difference it makes knowing that the Supreme Creator has a very special interest in your life because you are his family.
Try not to forget that ok?
I promise it will make your day better. Just think about it a little bit- God loves you and he remembers you.
"So when I make big mistake
When I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am "
Jessica Andrews-just fyi this is from a country song
It's been interesting seeing the Lord's hand in my life and how much happier people are during Christmas. I've been to temple square to see the Christmas lights and nativity scene more times than I can count. Great for people watching! (If you need to find free parking in good walking distance I now know where to go so you don't have to park at the capital building) There was one time after a Christmas concert that I really enjoyed watching what was going on under me in the assembly hall. The singers ran back to their families. One older gent was holding his new grand baby with a look of profound glee like he got the first present under the tree. Then there was an older lady who was stooped and not dressed up like everyone else. She quietly walked to a seat in the front that was empty and just had the biggest look of gratitude on her face. She came just to hear the songs about Christ. No family- no friends. I was debating if she was homeless or not. After the concert she stayed there smiling and alone while the boisterous families walked past her. I didn't know her story but I could see how sincere she was. She looked like she considered Jesus Christ to be her best friend.
It made me realize just how much I was taking my blessings for granted. Even though my family may be apart right now it isn't like things will stay that way forever.
Let me explain
This was my first Christmas away from home and although I still would have preferred to be with my family, I didn't get BRONCHITIS!! Oh the memories of Christmas' past.
At least we were all together that Christmas though. One day we won't have to choose between health and family
As my Dad is well aware our family is scattered all across the world this season! Nick is in Germany with the Army, Stephanie and Ariel just moved to Georgia, I just moved to Salt Lake City and Dad and Diamond Belle are in San Antonio. I bet our logic was if we spread the Handy family out enough we can spread the awesome throughout the world more effectively. Yeah, that was it.
As long as we have each other we don't need to be in Texas! And now all the siblings have access to snow so we can beat it with a baseball bat in an emotional rage!Am I right? eh? eh?
Still it is hard not being there and rolling out the duct tape, lighting the fire without lighter fluid and other fun memories that just make us sound crazy but are really fun.
I've been tremendously blessed today because the weather is WARM. I was so worried I was going to break my streak of no white Christmases. 42 degrees and all sun today. The snow melted completely yesterday and it has been so lovely. Because of a cold front in San Antonio it actually evened out to about the same temperature. Heavenly Father loves me, I think it is supposed to snow a lot for new years.
My roommate Susie adopted me into her family this year and I went to her Sister and Brother-in-law's for the holiday. We tracked Santa all night. And they went to bed by the time he hit NYC just in case. Everyone knows Santa doesn't visit kids who are still awake.
I told Susie and co. a Christmas story and was quite in awe of the illustrations. Yes, that little girl IS having a tea party with a bear, reindeer, and rabbit. They then build the biggest best snowman because you're never too small to do great things if you try your best and have friends... in case you were wondering
This was followed by a massive wrapping party and old movie party. Finally saw the end of White Christmas and the entirety of Miracle on 34th Street. My favorite part is when Mr. Macy decides to testify in court that he believes in Santa. Oh yeah, and Doris and Mr. Gayle fall in love in the end. I love that everything seems right in the world in these movies.
Photo-bombing family pictures is a past time of mine :-)
Susie might kill me for this but her bumble bee song cracked me up every time. She brought her mother a bumble bee and then smushed it. This was her face after she smushed him.
Christmas morning we were awoken by a very excited Cody who wanted us to come open our stockings. It was only 8:30 bless his heart. He must have really been holding back.
I haven't been around a bunch of small children for Christmas in a while. Note the glee
We had fun opening presents and BOY HOWDY there were so many freakin presents! Haha Cooper got tired of opening in the very beginning. It reminded me of Ariel last year.
Susie spoke with Stephanie and tried to recreate the awesome duct tape tradition. I was not on my A-game today. That is all I have to say about that.
Oh, and thanks for the new awesome purse dad!
It smells like fresh cow :-)
Speaking of cows my sister prepared for me a small package meant to brighten my life.
This is Mozzerella. She is a member of the Moofia.
Yes, you heard me right.
She sleeps on my bed now and beats the crap out of bullies who steal milk money from little kids.
She then gives the milk money back to the wee bitty ones so they can drink the milk and get bigger and stronger and beat the crap out of bullies on their own. Brings the whole teach a man to fish story to a whole new level huh?
She might be moving to my lab soon to beat up any meanies I may find there.
That's how my big sister looks after me yessiree bob. With a tommy gun and a cow suit.
But if you think I loved my presents let me show you what true joy is:
He later told us he would love it forever and keep it to give to his kids because then it would be as if he still had it. He would also have a ton of kids.
This little number was also very poop-ular with the kids
And so was the Driedal that Suzie gave me.
Hours of fun I am telling you. HOURS OF FUN!
It truly has been great, but like I said, I do miss my family. I got a call from Germany today and my Dad said he is giving Diamond Belle a Christmas present of a bath. Poor sausage doggy.
If there is one thing I would like to give to my family it is this message that I love them. They are one of my greatest gifts.
The one good thing about being able to be away from my family- if there is one- is that I have had so much more time to concentrate on other people instead of myself. I mean I can either focus on being alone up here or actually go out and do something right? I love my Savior and am so happy to celebrate His birth and life. Because of the way he lived his life and the power of his atonement I don't have to be alone. He knows me and loves me. He loves my family. I don't know anything else that is as comforting as that. Merry Christmas friends and family! I'll see you all very soon!
